First You Scrape, Then You Lick

I probably don't watch as many cartoons as I did when I was a kid. It's not that I don't like them. Nope, it's just harder to budget them into my current lifestyle.

Currently, I'd say that I watch maybe five hours of cartoons a week at best. I occasionally get together with friends and watch them, but by myself, the habit is dwindling. Stupid bed time… No, my mother isn't my keeper, my job is.

So there is this day that I happen to go over to my friend's house. He's watching toons, which isn't unusual for him. Billy and Mandy is on. I think it may be "The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy", or something along those lines. This is actually a spin-off, or more of a split-off of "Grim and Evil" from Cartoon Network. I guess Evil just didn't have the huevos to keep going.

If you're still lost, but want to know more. Billy and Mandy is a show about a couple of kids who get the grim reaper, Grim, after a contest. Billy is pure moron, Mandy is evil genius, and Grim is a carribean-voiced, harbinger of death.

If that's not enough, try this: Billy and Mandy

Okay, so where was I? Oh yeah, over at my friend's house watching this show. And Grim is making cookies, peanut butter and blood, for Dracula. He heads over to the retirement home of all places and hooks up Dracula with these cookies.

Dracula is the equivalent of Fred Sanford from Sanford and Son. Excuse me if you don't get all my pop culture American references. He's a senile old man, a receding hairline afro, and he talks in the third person. It's pure comedy.

"Dracula don't like peanut butter!"

So, he demands that Grim go with him to a senior citizen special at some diner. I get a little fuzzy on this part, so forgive me if you've seen it and the details aren't precise. During their adventure, they end up in the desert. Dracula gets tagged by a giant scorpion. Then Grim gets pummeled by the same scorpion.

Grim asks Dracula to suck out the poison. I mean, that's what Dracula is known for right? So he says, "Dracula don't suck! First he scrapes, *scrape scrape scrape*, then he licks *lalalalala*" This is where I lose it.

After seeing this, I went on to spread it as the gospel of humor. Kids around the world now have joy because of me. Well, Billy and Mandy. But I spread that joy damnit!

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